Now... Why would we ever be suspicious of Muslims?

I watched some of the King hearing on Radicalization of American Muslims.

In doing so, I also watched Senator Keith Ellison break down in tears over (what to him,) is a sad, sad story of a Muslim paramedic who was looked at kinda sideways on 9-11. Senator Ellison is Muslim himself, and apparently it makes him sad whenever any of his dog-brain Muslim brothers are looked at kinda sideways.



Aw. Look how sad he is. Aw.

And it's not just Keith Ellison who's sad - it's dog-brain Muslims all over the whole world who are sad; they're sad because they see these hearings as painting them in a negative light.

Here's another dog-brain Muslim who's sad:



Aw. He's sad, too. Aw.

And there's this dude named Peter King who's running the hearing. He is The Devil, (according to NPR and Jon Stewart, anyway.)



Senator King is the devil, (I'm told,) and he's a McCarthyist, an Alarmist, a Reactionaryist, a Counter-Revolutionist, and a Chicken Littleist, (I'm told,) because he's dared to take a look around America's living room, and because he has the Goddamn motherfucking gall to recognize that there is a 10,000 fucking pound elephant sitting there with us.

Look: Do you see the elephant? It's right there. It's eating your potato chips.

It looks like this:



And that's the deal, Ellison. All of it. In a nutshell.

You are Muslim, Ellison, and therefore I don't trust you. In fact, I can't trust you. Ever. Because...

Because, you are Muslim, and because Muslims blow shit up; and, because Muslims who don't blow shit up, support financially and sympathetically, Muslims who do blow shit up.



You also treat your womenfolk worse than goat shit, and... (I wasn't going to bring this up, but since we're on the subject...) you fuckers reek.



So. You're guilty, Ellison. You and every single Goddamn Muslim sliming around this country. You are guilty by association.

Don't like it?

You can fix it. Easy:

1) Stop blowing shit up.

2) If you're not blowing shit up, then stop your bro's from blowing shit up.

3) Stop beating the shit out of your fucking wives.

4) Stop marrying children, (and goats.)

5) Become Americans, Ellison. Embrace America, (or get the fuck out.) Take the diapers off your heads and wrap them around baby's asses, where they belong. Take the garbage bags off your wives, and start using them for garbage.

Simple.

Easy.

Until then, though, we will never trust you. Never. Ever.

You have a perception problem, Ellison; We perceive you and your brothers, to be pieces of shit. You must work on your image, Ellison, if you ever want to be accepted as a human being. You and your brothers... you must start acting like human beings.

Got it?

Good.

Now fix it, or...

Or, don't.

It's entirely up to you.